Raising our Children
When we think of being a parent it can be easy to have an idealistic view of what it will be like, especially if we don’t have children yet. But for those that do have children, the word ‘parenting’ can easily be equated with connotations of responsibility, fear of “messing them up”, or complaints about behaviour as we may succumb to the pressure from family and society to raise a “good boy/girl”. However when we set aside all of the should haves, would haves, could haves, and focus on the present moment, we can really enjoy our little ones – regardless of how big or little they are – just for who they are, without comparing them to our idea of the type of person we want them to be.
Here is a poem written by Diane Loomans, on how she would raise her child should she have the chance to do it over again. The good news for you if you are reading it right now, is you can start raising your child this way from now, from today, from this very moment. Perhaps, this is not only speaks of raising your child, but perhaps also your inner child as we parent ourselves into adulthood. It is your choice, and it will be a choice you can make at every decision, at every moment you get triggered, at every moment you feel the housework needs to come before your childs’ requests of you, at each moment you feel pressured by time, at each moment you feel someone is to blame, at each moment you feel firmness is required.
If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
Id finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
With Christmas coming up, what better gift to give your child(ren), than you – peaceful, playful, affirming, all-loving – you. You don’t need to wait to be the parent you want to be or for your parent to be the way you want them to be – you can be that right now, both for your children and for yourself. Happy Holidays.
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As published in The Inspired Guide Issue #18